The Place Where I Create(d)

I’ve started stalking this blog (stalking sounds more fun & more creepy than following…) – – and she wrote a post about her workspace called “Where I create”.
Her post is inspired by some women’s magazine where the readers gets the opportunity to get an insight into the studios & workspaces of female, high-profile artists (“regular” artists and craft divas from all over the world are featured as well). So, I figured: maybe I’ll write about my workspace?

A sketch for a long letter I once wrote to a friend (notice the chair in the left corner).

The only problem being I don’t really have a workspace anymore, and I didn’t really have one for the last half a decade or so.. (if I don’t count the tiny corner occupied by my computer in our current apartment). For quite some time now we’ve been living in a small apartment. It’s a rental and it’s in this expensive city & expensive country, so we can’t afford to have a workspace, guest room or anything else.

air and light and time and space

“–you know, I’ve either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the
but now
I’ve sold my house, I’ve found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I’m going to have
a place and the time to

no baby, if you’re going to create
you’re going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
you’re going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you’re on
you’re going to create with part of your mind and your body blown
you’re going to create blind
you’re going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.

baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don’t create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses

© Charles Bukowski, Black Sparrow Press

Researching & sketching. The drawing is based on "The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife" (蛸と海女), an erotic woodcut of the ukiyo-e genre by the Japanese artist Hokusai.

Researching & sketching. The drawing is based on “The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife” (蛸と海女), an erotic woodcut of the ukiyo-e genre by the Japanese artist Hokusai.

My old workspace was located in my dads basement which was ice-cold in the winters, but there was also a place upstairs where I used to sit and write letters,  try to draw, write or paint something.

Painting in my dads basement. The painting you see on the wall was actually stolen - twice! - from the loft at the place where we live now.

Painting in my dads basement. The painting you see on the wall is approximately 1.80 x 2 meters and it was stolen – twice!

My free corner in the world
This used to be my “free corner in the world”: a place where I could stay as long as I wanted, start my own projects without being bothered by anyone, and I returned there on a more or less regular basis: after travelling I always went back there for a shorter or longer period – depending on my job situation. When my mom got sick I stayed there for a while, then I returned again when my dad was sick.

They are both dead now, and the house belongs to some strangers, so naturally I don’t return there to create anything anymore… (that would be a bit weird, wouldn’t it?: “Hey! Remember me? No? I create(d) here and now I am back.”)

The finished letter

The finished letter

Sometimes I miss that place. Perhaps not so much the surroundings & the place itself (even though there’s some really great nature around there), but the feeling of being with the family, taking care of each other, eating dinners together and being lucky enough to have the opportunity to waste my time trying to create something.

The disappearing/re-appearing painting
Funny story: The oil-painting you see pictured (the one twith the eyes in the right corner & the red veil), was actually stolen twice! The first time I temporarily placed the painting in the passageway of the building where we are tenants, because it was in a van which we used for moving and we needed more room to pick up some stuff. We returned after the weekend and, as they say: “out of sight out of mind”. Suddenly one day I remembered that I never saw that painting again…

Then, about 1 1/2 years later it turned up again at the exact same spot where I left it, the only difference was that this time it had 4 holes drilled in it. Apparently someone who lives in the same building as we do, thinks that my painting was nice enough to decorate their home with, so they borrowed it for a while. I don’t care really, and as an amateur oil painter I guess I should be kind of flattered to actually be “stolen”.
Well, since the painting had returned, I decided to reclaim it and carried it up to the loft and placed it outside our storage room. There was no place for inside, but I figured it would be safe enough outside.
I hardly ever go up there (no-one does), but now the painting has gone M.I.A. again… Maybe it will re-appear some day?
Luckily there’s the time-space continuum, so even if I don’t have that painting anymore, and even if I don’t have the opportunity to re-create it, and even if my old workspace is gone forever, they all might show up again in some other shape somewhere down the road…

5 thoughts on “The Place Where I Create(d)

  1. You know Cardinal, I thoroughly enjoyed this post. The Bukowski poem so true. When you are a creative spirit, you create where you can, under any circumstances. Thanks for sharing insight to those spaces that have meant something to you over the years. Really like the art you posted too. Clearly, you are talented and creative. So glad the one piece came back to you as it was your first. For the record, you can stalk my blog anytime. Glad to have you on board. Margie

    • Thank you for inspiring this post and sharing your workspace first 🙂

      The piece that came back got stolen again. It’s the red one that’s pictured. I just updated the text a little bit now, because the text wasn’t clear enough regarding which picture that disappeared. I don’t know where it is now. Maybe in the apartment of some neighbors…?
      Perhaps I can put up a note downstairs?

      Missing painting
      Have you seen this painting?
      It measures approximately 1.80 x 2.00 meters
      If you see the painting, please do not feed it, but contact the local autorities for conservation of endangered art, or call this number: 555- etc etc.

  2. Pingback: Oil painting: Gangster City « Cardinal Guzman

  3. Aaaaah yes… Those special places in our lives where creativity comes to life….
    Where we feel like we are on our own little planet…. All alone…

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